Monday, January 22, 2007
Time for Introspection
This subject has been doing rounds of my mind for a while but I must admit that I was a bit intimidated to reflect my inner thoughts...Has it always been like this - The contempt among fellowmates? I mean we are members of a minority community here and even smaller community if you go by people attached to the same professional Organisation. Now if you again filter out the like minded people or folks with likewise interests, it comes out to be a handful of people...Left out in this lonely piece of land...Still, there is no affection or attachment among them instead the words that come to my mind are hostility,jealousy,hatred,attitude problems,arrogance,high headedness,mind games....Why is there so much negativity around...Now, I've experienced it and it's not just a figment of my frickin' mind...And I'm sure you guys out there have also experienced it at some point or the other...Where is the innocence lost from our lives? Now, I know that all the great preachings in this world that talk about Relations mention that to maintain any successful relation, you need to have the least or absolute no expectations from others...But to think of it, it's not possible to apply that formula to this Real world...Like if I stop expecting from my partner or my friends, I start drifting apart from them and this is not what I was trying to achieve in the first place. I'm not putting the entire blame on the other party and steering myself clear of all negative traits, of course I am full of them as anybody else is. And I expect every human to be intelligent enough to accept that and move on. Still I'm unable to clear out all the controversies and misunderstandings...I know human thought process is quite complex and there are a lots of different sesitivity levels to handle and it's probably futile to analyse all the why's and how's of this complex behaviour...Still, putting it as a thought across makes me content that it is not confined in the corners of my mind...Maybe we all need to do a bit of thinking here...Maybe resolving all my issues with fellowmates will pester me less and make me a little less lonely out here? Isn't life too short for all this contempt to breed, or maybe it's not since we often find time for these vicious deeds rather than a handful of kind ones.
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5 comments:
Very well said.Bravo! I think everyone experience the same feeling & hatred amongst the coworkers at some point.Only to make the matters worse, never discuss amongst each other or try to make the environment pleasant to work in.I am glad Deepti you brought up this subject. Great job.Will wait for your new blogs.Way to go!!
Sensitive topic. I agree with everything you mentioned and I think its only human. Love, Hatred, Anguish, distrust, misunderstandings etc.. have become a part of life. So much to achieve, so much competition, expectations, pressure of leading a dream life and trying to excel in everything is only adding up to all the existing misery.
However bitter it may seem but It looks like it will only get worse as time passes. We as humans need to find a way out of this tricky puzzle.
Great topic Deepti,I would like to congratulate you on being such a good blogger and bringing such good topics to notice of people..U r experiencing this in a place where people are of minor community,we have experienced this(and are still experiencing..) in place we all are of same community :-)).Believe me this is a very alarming topic and the quality of people we see is alarmingly bad..It seems like humanity ,virtues,good deeds are getting washed out completely.Majority of people we meet are too cunnig,trying to let down other people,trying to prove how superior he/she is,attitude problem..To be very frank I do not say I don't have jealousy,envy etc in my personality as it is a part of human nature to have all this..But one should try to controlas much as possible(100 % may not be achievable..)But still the quality of people we see is horrible.Only 1 out of 10,000(tentative figures..) people might be good and worth making friend..They r just concerned how they can benefit from others at others' expense..But I believe indulging in all this takes you away from GOD,leads to Ur 'Patan(downfall)',U end up having less knowledge(as U do not have a learning attitude so U dont grow in ur career/life morally).
Quite an interesting topic. Pretty well put. Very Interesting Comments. Everyone unequivocally agree that the existence of this phenomenon cannot be questioned.
Heres doing some cause analysis - What is it that lends such ubiquitous presence to this undesirable behaviour.
Almost everyone would agree that we hardly ever (if at all) saw such things happening when we were young(er :))
At that age, we had a very open mind and not too much ingrained into it. However, as we grow older, there are notions (many possibly incorrect) that manage to procure a *Strong* and permanant position in our mindspace.
The side effect of this is aversion to drift from the norm - no keenness to adapt to something new.
Today, we are not too open to newer people and tend to look at them cynically. This attitude towards people is because of us unwittingly harbouring pre-conceived notions about strangers. There is no adaptability or acceptance of people's views - We can, at best, lend a deaf ear to the same.
As a consequence, as time goes by, and as the realization dawns upon us (and others), we stop indulging in speaking out freely fearing criticism, slander, backlash, unattentiveness, etc.
Additionally, this hampers our ability to associate ourselves with more people - we lose the skill to have a nice healthy discussion with a person on topic that are kinda alien to us - Because, we are not even keen in learning or discussing them. "Boss - I don't have the time and inclination to discuss this crap - Tere funde tuje mubarak". Whatever happened to the "Different strokes for different folks!!" conversational skills. So to find 1 worthwhile person out of 10,000 (tentative figures :)) people does not come as a shock at all!! Thts bound to happen!
Much of all this would also have to do with the game that we human beings play all the time (unknowingly). The game to stay one-up in EVERYTHING.
"You did this ..... Arre yeh to kuchh bhi nahin ..... Look at me (us) ....."
As childish as it may sound, directly or indirectly, this is something that we do almost everyday with so many people we know well/not so well. I can think of no explanation as to why we play such games (Just human nature I guess).
There definitely are exceptions to this. But I've seen so many people who I personally look up to - People who manage to be so good to everyone - They are so likable - They are ideal rolemodels on how everyone should be and behave. (Easier said than done I know for a fact :))
But its fun to try ....
Guess that's enough said ... this comment is anyways too long as compared to what I had anticipated it to be when I started writing!!
You have made a very pertinent observation. Even though jealousy etc. is natural still it can be overcome and reduced in intensity. It stems from our own sense of insecurity and limitation. But if we believe in the Law of Karma we can safely say that whatever we get is in keeping with the law. No one is being short changed and no one is milking the system. Everyone gets one's due. The natural laws do not discriminate. If a person of any class, caste or creed falls off a cliff he or she will hit the ground in accordance with the laws of gravitation, there is no discrimination. We all get what we deserve but may not be able to appreciate this due to our limited knowledge of the past.
One way to counter the negative feelings is to nourish the opposite. For example to reduce hatred towards someone use your own free will to bring a flower for that person every day. It will be difficult initially but eventually the hatred will be replaced by love and the use of will will no longer be necessary.
A human life is more fulfilled when it is full of positive values and devoid of negatives. Only then can one enjoy the richness of a human life. If not one lives and dies like a pauper.
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